Being a mom, there are so many times throughout the day that I do things for my children and they don't even realize that I didn't have to do it, I just did them because I love them...like making meals, doing laundry, cleaning up their messes while they are at school, instead of making them do it (OK, that one I sometimes do because Mommy can do it faster and better-haha), reading them stories or playing Littlest Pet Shop, etc... Some things are just things I do because I'm the Mom and it's my J-O-B, but others I do because I know it is important to them and makes them feel cared for and loved.
With God, He has no J-O-B. He doesn't HAVE to do anything. He didn't have to let me be born in America to Christian parents. He didn't have to let me marry an amazing man and have 3 amazing kids. He didn't have to provide for our family with blessings to allow us to have a roof over our heads, food that we put down the garbage disposal because no one would want to eat the same leftovers 2 days in a row, 2 cars (!), one parent that stays home with the kiddos, air conditioning (and heat), laundry and dishwashing machines (!), to name a few. Like Andy Stanley said at church awhile back, compared to the majority of the people around our world, to have any of these things, WE ARE RICH! Not to mention the blessings of our health and safety.
Then here I come along...poor poor me, because I'm now "old" and 35, I'm throwing myself a pity-party...anyone want to attend? I'm sure He just shakes His almighty head and sighs.
What a brat.
Kind of like how we try to tell our children to not complain about their toys because there are people all over Atlanta and the world that would love to have some of these toys, much less a WHOLE room in the house called a PLAYROOM! Isn't it silly how we are like children sometimes? Well, God is our Father and I'm just so thankful that He loves me and doesn't give me what I truly deserve...I don't even want to know what His time-out or spanking looks/feels like!
I'm writing all of this because there were some things that I was struggling with surrounding my "big" birthday...stupid things, silly things that I wish I knew more about by this age, that I wish I was better at by this age, that I wish I was more "together" with parts of my life and my role in my family by this age... I confess that I didn't even go to God about them. I just went and cried and complained to my sweet husband about them and I'm sure he mentally shook his head too, but outwardly, he was very sweet.
In my mind, with all the BIG things in this world that really matter, my little insecurities don't even need to be mentioned to God. His plate is too full with wars and famines and cancer, etc. But, what is AWESOME is that HE KNOWS MY HEART. I don't have to mention them to Him. As I was crying and complaining to Kevin, He was there beside me hearing me, too.
Over the past couple of weeks, I have had several things (some even through blog-stalking) cross my path unexpectedly that have been answers to some of my silly questions...Things that could help alleviate some of my insecurities. I bet that God just kind of "dropped" those nuggets of inspiration and know-how into my life the way we do things for our children "just because." I have also felt a peace that I don't have to have it all together. That is what life is for. More importantly, that is what a life with the Lord as my guide is for. (Sorry for the grammar there.)
I know I am totally rambling, but in my mind, this all makes sense :)
Reading and music speak to me.
I am reading a book with my girls Bible Study called Crazy Love and I just finished the 1st chapter and watched the videos from the website www.crazylovebook.com and I just felt the need to give our all-powerful, all-knowing, almighty God some crazy love from my little spot in this galaxy. Check it out...
Also, a few songs that I have recently downloaded have been on repeat in my Ipod and I am loving them and the awesome message that God is speaking to me through them:
-It is Well by Todd Fields
"When PEACE like a river attendeth my way, when SORROW like sea billows roll. Whatever my lot, You have taught me to say, it is WELL, It is WELL with my soul..."
-Breathe on Me by Todd Fields
"Forever, You are my reason for living, merciful Saviour unending, Breathe On Me. Forever You are the God of my story, write EVERY line for YOUR GLORY, Breathe On Me."
I don't know what else to say.
Awesome...
1 comment:
Greer! We need to have lunch sometime. I can completely relate to how you are feeling. I feel those same emotions and then feel a little guilty for feeling that way with every devastating thing going on right now in the world.
I have to read Crazy Love. Two of my dear friends have told me about it. They said I "HAVE" to read it.
You are such a great Mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend. You completely radiate light to all around you. Just reading your blog inspires me so much. God has called you to this very place at this very time..enjoy every second with those sweet little ones. If you did nothing else, you have done the Father's work by raising them in such a way and in such a home as yours.
God bless you as you continue shining your bright light to everyone around you, Greer.
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