"The King of all Bad Words"

We have 2 little girls (1st and 3rd grade) that live next door to us. They are always over and playing with Mia and Chloe. They don't exactly have the same Christian upbringing that our girls have...for example, the younger one went to church at Christmas with us last year and Chloe said, "We're having a Christmas birthday party at church!" And our little neighbor replied, "Who's birthday is at Christmas?" And Mia and Chloe both said, "Jesus!" and she just looked dumbfounded....like, wait a minute, Christmas is about something else besides Santa Claus and Rudolph?

Well, this year, the 1st grader came home from school with us and was saying that she was going to be in so much trouble because she had said the "king of all bad words." Then my girls started asking,

"Did you say 'Stupid'?"

"Was it worse than 'Hate'?"

I smiled and asked her what happened (thinking it couldn't be all that bad) and she said that she had said "What the f---!" in class...her 1st grade class.

I almost drove into my mailbox.

So, my naive girls said, "Did you say, 'Fired'?"...I quickly said, "Let's not talk about this right now."

Unbelievable.

A few days later, Mia and Chloe and this little girl were in our playroom and I heard Chloe say, "I called Mia the "S" word the other day and got into trouble." This little girl gasped...of course, she is thinking of the other "S" word and Chloe means "stupid."

That night at dinner I explained to them that when someone refers to the "S" word, they don't mean "stupid," and that it is probably not a good idea to tell others that you have used that word with each other. So, the conversation started spiraling from there...

Girls: "What is the "S" word?"

Me: "It is not a word that we ever say...you don't need to know, but you do need to know that it isn't "stupid."

Mia: "What is the "F" word?"

(At this point I was really wishing Kevin wasn't working late.)

So, I decided that they were probably going to hear those words pretty soon at the rate we were going and I wanted them to know that they were bad words when they did hear them, so, I told them what the "F" word was...I said it was like "Duck" but started with an "F" and that if I ever heard them say it or heard that they had said it to someone else, they would have their mouths washed out with soap and there privileges would be taken away.

Mia handled it pretty well...she went back to eating and then went to go play.

Chloe is another bird altogether.

She starts pacing the room and saying that she can't get it out of her head and that she just has to say it. At one point, she had her head under the couch cushion saying she felt like she was going to throw up.

Great.

So, I told her that she could whisper it in my ear and then we needed to "move on." So she whispered it so quietly and then she left the room. I thought, "OK, well, I guess that's that."

And then she comes back in and she has put handsoap in her mouth and has the nastiest look on her face. (at least it was that all-natural soap)

Her reaction really upset me and I thought I had made a really bad mistake telling them...taking away some of their innocence. So, I called my mom and she reminded me of the verse, Phillipians 4:8:

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.

So, it turned out to be a good learning lesson...even though it didn't start out that way!

Grooming

My daughter, Chloe, is so tender-hearted. I have written about her many times on here. When she does something wrong, it literally eats at her until she confesses. To me, this is a good thing...especially as she gets older and faces more of "life." But, it is not easy watching her experience the feelings leading to her "confession."

Recently, Mia and Chloe were working on their homework after school and I told them that if they needed any help, I could help them and when they were finished I could look over it. When they reached a math page of having to count these little dots, they both came over needing help. It was a pretty basic concept and I knew that as soon as I explained it, they would get it and go and finish the page. But, it was strange that as Mia went back to the table to finish because she understood, Chloe burst into tears saying she didn't understand. I just looked at her and asked, "Why are you so upset? Here, let me show you again." So, I did and she was being so adamant about not getting it, and I knew that this concept was not too difficult for her.

So I asked, "Chloe, are you really this upset about this math sheet or is something else going on?" and she blurted out (as tears are dripping off her sweet face onto the side table in front of her), "When I was 2, you told me not to ever play with the Gorilla Glue and when I was 3, I took it and made 3 dots on the coffee table in the playroom."

(I had to stop and let it sink in, because we went from math to Gorilla Glue in about a millisecond!)

So I asked her, "Have you been wanting to tell me about this for awhile?"

She said, "Yes and I'm sorry."

And I just had to once again scoop her into my lap and tell her that, of course, I forgave her and that she needs to NOT hold these things in. She just cried and cried and told me she wanted to show me.

OK, these 3 dots are so miniscule. They are practically under the coffee table and Gorilla Glue dries clear, so I never would have seen them.

(My mom suggested that the dots on the math worksheet probably reminded her of her "transgression"!)

That night as I went to bed, I kept thinking about the whole situation and I believe that the Holy Spirit is grooming her to accept Christ one day soon. I believe that he is showing her the feeling of conviction and she is learning from it.

I am so excited for that day when all of my girls become true believers in and followers of Jesus and ask Him to guide them in all areas of their lives.

What a beautiful day that will be...