A Spiritual Birthday-June 17th, 2011

My Chloe is so intuitive. She always has been this way. I have always said that at times I feel I am talking with someone closer to my age than a little 6 year old!

She has been asking lots of questions over the past couple of months about baptism and what that means. I have been nervous about this conversation because she is so young. I asked a friend of ours that runs the children's ministry at our church how I should handle these conversations with her and she basically said to make it an ongoing conversation...answer every question as well as I can and make her feel like we can talk about it whenever she wants to talk about it.

So...that is what I have been trying to do.

Then last night happened:

I was getting Mia and Chloe ready for bed and we said our prayers as I am bouncing Mary Britton on my knee (Quinnie was already in bed). Then Chloe began asking about baptism again. She asked why she wasn't baptized as a baby like her cousins, and I tried to explain to her that we wanted her baptism to be at a time when she chooses to be baptized and not when we, her parents, choose for her. So, she asked if she could be baptized. At first, I didn't really know what to say. I told her that it is a very important decision and that she needs to understand salvation before baptism. Then she said, "what do I need to know to understand?"

I stopped, then, and said I needed to put (a very distracting) Mary Britton to bed and that if she wanted to talk more, we could go and talk in my bedroom. As I'm putting the baby to bed, I am praying like crazy that I won't screw this up. I mean, this conversation is what I have prayed for since she was in my belly! I don't only want to spend a few years on earth with this precious child of mine...I want to spend an eternity with her.

When I got back, she said she didn't want to talk anymore, so I said, "OK" and then she turned to look at me and had tears in her eyes and said, "Actually, I do want to talk."

So, we went and got on our bed and I asked her what she was feeling that was making her cry and she said that she kept thinking about "the bad word." (On a side note, she and Kevin are masters at taking songs and changing all the words to make it something silly.) She said that she was making up words to this song about trucks and kept saying "funk" in her mind and sometimes in a whisper instead of truck. (I guess I wasn't very clear as to what the actual bad word was! I wasn't going to correct her, though!) She is full-on crying now telling me that she can't stop thinking about it in her mind. So I, again, talked to her about the verse that tells us to think on "what is lovely and pure and praiseworthy..." and I asked her if she ever prays when she feels like this and she said that she asks God to help her not think about it and sometimes it works and other times it doesn't. We, then, prayed together that same prayer and she seemed to feel a bit better.

I then asked her if there was anything else she wanted to talk about and she said she thought she wanted to be baptized. So, I got out a piece of paper and drew the same drawing that I remember my mom drawing for me as a child to show the plan of salvation. I drew the side-view of 2 sides of a canyon with God on one side and Chloe, me, Daddy, Mia, etc...on the other side. I explained to her that we can never be on the side where God is because of that big open space in the middle that is filled with all the bad things we've ever done...that no amount of good things can build a bridge. Then I told her that Jesus came to earth to die on the cross to be that bridge for us (and I drew the cross as the bridge between the 2 sides) and that if she was the only person that ever lived, Jesus would have still died for her...that He loves her that much. She was just listening so intently to everything I was saying. I told her that Jesus wants to be her best friend and guide her throughout her entire life and then live with her forever in Heaven one day. She asked me what happens to people that don't go to Heaven and I just couldn't tell her anything that might scare her. I know her personality and I know that, especially at 6, she would not handle that bit of information well. So, I just told her that the worst thing in the world would be being separated from God forever. That seemed to be a good enough of an explanation. I just know that with my upbringing in the southern baptist church (in the 80's, at least) where hell-fire and brimstone were pretty common sermon topics, I was scared to death of all of that! I just really wanted her to make the choice for Jesus and not just against hell.

After we talked a bit, I asked her if this sounded like something she'd like to do and she said, "yes." So, I pulled her into my lap and I led her in prayer asking Jesus to forgive her of all the bad things she has done (at age 6!) and to come into her heart and to be her best friend forever. She (and I) cried through the whole thing...like mother, like daughter. When she was finished, I asked her how she felt and I expected her to say something pretty generic like "happy," but instead, she just looked at me and said, "calm."

Calm.

Isn't that the best adjective for the peace of Jesus?

This 6 year old hasn't been calm a second since she was in utero. She is always moving, always thinking, many times anxious...but the Prince of Peace showed up and made her feel calm.

I went on to tell her that the Bible says that when one person accepts Jesus into her heart the angels rejoice and throw a party...at this, Mia, comes into the room (I swear she has radar for the word, "party.") and says, "I wonder if they are eating angel food cake?!?"

Through our tears, we just burst out laughing...

Here is a song that I am singing right now...it basically sums up all that I am feeling.

I just got tired of "thinking about it"

Earlier this spring, I began to consider homeschooling Mia and Chloe for 1st grade. There were many things that led me to start the Googling...it's a slippery slope when that begins.

At first, it was all about what I wanted to "shelter" them from...not-so-great-teachers (rumor has it that the 1st grade teachers are not stellar at our neighborhood school); the influence of certain "mean girls in the making"; conversations that I wasn't ready to have with a 6 year old (see this post); the knowledge that anything pertaining to Christianity in the public school is put on the back burner, if not mentioned at all (Mia and Chloe came home having learned more about Hanukkah and Kwanzaa traditions in December than Christmas); etc...

Then, after my Google-fest, I realized all of the things I wanted to have them learn...I want them to have a deep knowledge of core subjects, not just shallow learning to quickly move on because "we have standards and data that need to be met and test scores that need to be reached." I want them to learn that learning does not just take place in a classroom and that it doesn't occur only between bells.

I really like my girls and enjoy being around them. They are funny and are smart as whips.

And, like I've told all the folks in the neighborhood (talk about the "rumor mill"!) that are asking me about the whys and hows of my decision, I just got tired of thinking about it and needed to make a decision one way or the other. If it works out, great...if it doesn't, then they can go back across the street to our neighborhood school (I've heard the 2nd grade teachers are great!).

I'm not Amish, and I'm not trying to be one of the Duggars (which is what I thought homeschooling was all about)...I'm just trying to give my girls the best education possible.

I know that I will be as challenged in this new adventure as they will be, but I am excited to see where it takes us.

My Mia

Before I was even pregnant with our twins, we went on a trip to Asheville with some close friends. My friend, Kellie, and I went shopping and we went into this little baby and children clothes shop and the cute lady working there had her daughter with her and I remember this precious little blond headed girl and her name was Mia. Immediately, I fell in love with the name. I knew that if I ever had a girl, Mia would be her name (who knew I would have 4 girls and would NEVER get to use my boy name, Charlie). Anyway, I digress...after looking the name up in a baby names book when I eventually did get pregnant, I found out that Mia means "mine" and it is also a derivative of Mary (a nod to my sweet hubby's Catholic background) and is also a derivative of Michael, Kevin's middle name. So many connections...

Well, "my" Mia, loves to please. She literally thrives on praise.

Earlier this week, I got very sick with some sort of infection (maybe sinus?) and I was out of commission for practically 2 days. I thought our family would turn into a Chick-Fil-A chicken nugget with the amount of nuggets they ate in those 2 days. So, last night, I was BACK. No more sick people in this house...no ma'am. This calls for a veggie stir fry.

Well, I made this amazing stir-fry with Gardein "chicken" for me and the real thing for the kids and Kevin. As soon as the girls came to the table, the tears welled up in their blue eyes and I just looked at them and said, "this is dinner...I just spent 45 minutes making it if you don't eat it or complain, my feelings will be so hurt." I am hoping that the Catholic guilt is genetic from my husband. I told them that they had to eat a taste of each veggie and eat all the chicken and the rice. So, Chloe, did just that (no more, no less)---did I mention she's a rule follower? An hour later, Mia and I are still sitting there.

Mia and Chloe had just had their swim class before dinner and Mia all of a sudden started complaining that her eyes were burning...(that's funny because as you were watching Scooby Doo, and I was cooking, they were fine). Then Quinnlan (who had not been to swim class) starts saying her eyes are burning. The 2 year old cracks me up.

So, I told Chloe to go and pick a candy from our "Candy Bucket" to put in her lunch for the next day and Mia is on high alert at that.

So I told her (calmly---even though I am so bugged) that she has to eat her broccoli, at least, and the chicken and the rice. So, she begins to eat the broccoli and...shhhh...I think she likes it! She ate the whole thing and I was going absolutely nutso! I'm hugging her and swinging her around and telling her proud I am of her and she is just beaming from ear to ear. Finally we fell on the kitchen floor with her in my lap and I just showered her with praise. She glowed as she picked out her candy for lunch and was still glowing as we went to bed...an hour past bedtime.

One more precious thing about my Mia...She has begun asking the most conscientious questions. Kevin will come in at the end of the day and she will sincerely ask him, "How was work today, Daddy?" or when we go out to eat she'll say, "How is your burrito, Mommy?"

I could just eat her up. She is growing into the most wonderful little girl.

I am so blessed.

"The King of all Bad Words"

We have 2 little girls (1st and 3rd grade) that live next door to us. They are always over and playing with Mia and Chloe. They don't exactly have the same Christian upbringing that our girls have...for example, the younger one went to church at Christmas with us last year and Chloe said, "We're having a Christmas birthday party at church!" And our little neighbor replied, "Who's birthday is at Christmas?" And Mia and Chloe both said, "Jesus!" and she just looked dumbfounded....like, wait a minute, Christmas is about something else besides Santa Claus and Rudolph?

Well, this year, the 1st grader came home from school with us and was saying that she was going to be in so much trouble because she had said the "king of all bad words." Then my girls started asking,

"Did you say 'Stupid'?"

"Was it worse than 'Hate'?"

I smiled and asked her what happened (thinking it couldn't be all that bad) and she said that she had said "What the f---!" in class...her 1st grade class.

I almost drove into my mailbox.

So, my naive girls said, "Did you say, 'Fired'?"...I quickly said, "Let's not talk about this right now."

Unbelievable.

A few days later, Mia and Chloe and this little girl were in our playroom and I heard Chloe say, "I called Mia the "S" word the other day and got into trouble." This little girl gasped...of course, she is thinking of the other "S" word and Chloe means "stupid."

That night at dinner I explained to them that when someone refers to the "S" word, they don't mean "stupid," and that it is probably not a good idea to tell others that you have used that word with each other. So, the conversation started spiraling from there...

Girls: "What is the "S" word?"

Me: "It is not a word that we ever say...you don't need to know, but you do need to know that it isn't "stupid."

Mia: "What is the "F" word?"

(At this point I was really wishing Kevin wasn't working late.)

So, I decided that they were probably going to hear those words pretty soon at the rate we were going and I wanted them to know that they were bad words when they did hear them, so, I told them what the "F" word was...I said it was like "Duck" but started with an "F" and that if I ever heard them say it or heard that they had said it to someone else, they would have their mouths washed out with soap and there privileges would be taken away.

Mia handled it pretty well...she went back to eating and then went to go play.

Chloe is another bird altogether.

She starts pacing the room and saying that she can't get it out of her head and that she just has to say it. At one point, she had her head under the couch cushion saying she felt like she was going to throw up.

Great.

So, I told her that she could whisper it in my ear and then we needed to "move on." So she whispered it so quietly and then she left the room. I thought, "OK, well, I guess that's that."

And then she comes back in and she has put handsoap in her mouth and has the nastiest look on her face. (at least it was that all-natural soap)

Her reaction really upset me and I thought I had made a really bad mistake telling them...taking away some of their innocence. So, I called my mom and she reminded me of the verse, Phillipians 4:8:

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.

So, it turned out to be a good learning lesson...even though it didn't start out that way!

Grooming

My daughter, Chloe, is so tender-hearted. I have written about her many times on here. When she does something wrong, it literally eats at her until she confesses. To me, this is a good thing...especially as she gets older and faces more of "life." But, it is not easy watching her experience the feelings leading to her "confession."

Recently, Mia and Chloe were working on their homework after school and I told them that if they needed any help, I could help them and when they were finished I could look over it. When they reached a math page of having to count these little dots, they both came over needing help. It was a pretty basic concept and I knew that as soon as I explained it, they would get it and go and finish the page. But, it was strange that as Mia went back to the table to finish because she understood, Chloe burst into tears saying she didn't understand. I just looked at her and asked, "Why are you so upset? Here, let me show you again." So, I did and she was being so adamant about not getting it, and I knew that this concept was not too difficult for her.

So I asked, "Chloe, are you really this upset about this math sheet or is something else going on?" and she blurted out (as tears are dripping off her sweet face onto the side table in front of her), "When I was 2, you told me not to ever play with the Gorilla Glue and when I was 3, I took it and made 3 dots on the coffee table in the playroom."

(I had to stop and let it sink in, because we went from math to Gorilla Glue in about a millisecond!)

So I asked her, "Have you been wanting to tell me about this for awhile?"

She said, "Yes and I'm sorry."

And I just had to once again scoop her into my lap and tell her that, of course, I forgave her and that she needs to NOT hold these things in. She just cried and cried and told me she wanted to show me.

OK, these 3 dots are so miniscule. They are practically under the coffee table and Gorilla Glue dries clear, so I never would have seen them.

(My mom suggested that the dots on the math worksheet probably reminded her of her "transgression"!)

That night as I went to bed, I kept thinking about the whole situation and I believe that the Holy Spirit is grooming her to accept Christ one day soon. I believe that he is showing her the feeling of conviction and she is learning from it.

I am so excited for that day when all of my girls become true believers in and followers of Jesus and ask Him to guide them in all areas of their lives.

What a beautiful day that will be...

Bugged

I am seriously bugged.

I just spent over an hour making a veggie lasagna. I thought everyone would love it. My girls love italian food such as pizza and spaghetti. I even went as far as to blend all of the veggies together (not one single veggie could be seen) so no one would say, "what is this?" as they scrape bits of pepper or onion or zucchini out of the mixture. I truly thought the kids would eat it and would enjoy it while getting some nutrients along the way.

Guess who ate it?

Me.

Oh, and Kevin, too.

The girls wouldn't even touch it.

Our policy has always been: You don't have to eat it, but you're not getting anything else. I don't cook 2 meals, just one. We just sent the girls straight to bed (I didn't feel like eating my lasagna while they stared at theirs like it might jump out and bite them.).

Tonight I was so mad...I told Kevin that I felt like forcing them to eat it. All of it...even if they barfed on the table. Then he gently reminded me what a pain it is to clean up vomit.

Good point.

All 3 of our big girls started out eating everything...all types of babyfood fruits and veggies. Then somewhere around age 2, they decided to revolt. Quinnie is right in the middle of this. She very rarely eats dinner. She isn't rude about it, but it always seems like she is pushing her untouched plate of food towards me saying, "All done, Mommy" with a smile on her face. We've decided that she is like a camel. She pretty much only eats one big meal a day. The child loves berries, though (like her sister, Chloe---who loves all types of fruit)...so, I just try to load her up on berries throughout the day. Mia on the other hand is super picky. She won't eat fruit unless it is applesauce in a cup or a smoothie. So, we have started making fruit smoothies every morning...that way all the kiddos get some fruit to start out the day.

I just wish they would eat dinner without me having to make the same old pizza, spaghetti, hotdogs, chicken nuggets, etc.

Dinner is a thorn in my side. If it were just me, alone (which I'd never wish for), I would eat cereal every night.

So, I am on a mission to figure out that daily question, "What's for dinner?"

Middle Names

Quinnlan's middle name is Greer. The other day I was trying to explain this to her and here's how the conversation went:

Me: Quinnlan, your middle name is Greer.

Quinn: No, you're Greer.

Me: Yes, you're right, but that is my 1st name, like Quinnlan is your first name. Your middle name is Greer.

Quinn: No, you're Greer!

Me: Yes, but you're middle name is also Greer. Your name is Quinnlan Greer.

Quinn: No, my name is Quinnie-Poo.

You can't make this stuff up...

Here comes the Sun

Sunday was ABSOLUTELY gorgeous! Spring fever has arrived in Atlanta! We took our girls to the Botanical Gardens to enjoy the day then to Park Tavern for an early dinner on their patio overlooking Piedmont Park. Here are some pics from this great "Family Day":

Mia trying to hug her sister (Chloe loves this, can't you tell?)

Miss Mary Britt enjoying the stroll through the gardens

Quinnie running

and playing (check out her "halo" of static hair from sliding down the slide)

Daddy with Mary Britton

Chloe's photo of us...lovebirds

Mia and Chloe really wanted to go ice-skating at Park Tavern, but their feet were too small for the skates. They look bummed.

It felt like we joined half of Atlanta at Piedmont Park

You know it's been a fun-filled day when this is what you see in the backseat on the way home (notice the paci is barely in her mouth!)

All I want for Valentine's Day is...

My Chloe's 2 top teeth have been loose since September. I was sure they'd be gone before Christmas and we could sing "the song".

Nope...they just kept hanging on.

But last Monday, Chloe came home from school and had lost one of them. The other one was barely hanging on. Chloe could close her mouth and have the lone tooth hang over her lip and look like Nannie McPhee. That was pretty funny.

I even tried to get hold of it, but every time I would do it, she would freak out.

So, I just left it there. Kevin and went to datenight and when we got home, the babysitter told us that the other tooth had come out in her mac-n-cheese. I'm so glad she told us (Chloe had asked her not to say anything) since the Tooth Fairy was coming to visit that night!

This is how she looked the next morning:

Adorable.

Holidaze

Seems like I did this same thing last year...finally get around to blogging about the Christmas/New Years holidays around mid-February.

Christmas was incredible this year with our newest gift, Miss Mary Britton.

What a doll.

We visited Santa in Mid-December and I wasn't sure how Quinnlan would be, now that she is 2, and most 2 year olds are scared of Santa, but not this monkey. She loved him. Mia and Chloe had to hold her back from rushing him football-style when she was finally close enough to see him at Lenox.

Everyone is on their best behavior for the Big Man...

Then a couple weeks later, Quinnie had her first "performance" at her Preschool. She did so well and I was so proud of how she did with her little classmates:

When Christmas Eve finally arrived, it was our year to spend Christmas Eve with Kevin's family. We met at Kevin's mom's church for Christmas Eve Mass and then we had an incredible italian feast at Kevin's mom's house with all the girl cousins. How we love our nieces. They are so precious to me:

Our newest addition, Addie, our Goddaughter---2 1/2 weeks younger than Mary Britton...love how she sticks her tongue out! Too cute...

Here's all the "big girls":

Chloe, Quinn, Mia, Katherine, & Mae

After dinner, Santa showed up. This is the best part of Christmas Eve with Grammie...

Remember how I said that Quinnie was obsessed with Santa?

This is her 1st reaction to seeing him.

Love, Love, and more Love.

I even caught her doing the "I love Santa" dance:

As well as big hugs when she was overtaken with affection for her favorite white-bearded man:

I loved seeing Quinnie love Christmas this year.

These 2 six year olds showed such patience waiting their turn for the gifts from Santa's sack on Christmas Eve.

As they say...it is so special seeing Christmas through the eyes of a child.

This is one of my favorite pictures each year...waiting on the stairs on Christmas morning:

Look how sleepy (grumpy) Miss Chloe is! Not happy to be awakened by her sister, Mia!

After opening gifts from Santa and Mommy and Daddy, we went to Nana and Grandaddy's house for lunch:

We missed my brother and his family that are in Africa again this year. We can't wait to (hopefully) have them with us next year!

Then we went to Kevin's sister, Shannon's home for Christmas dinner (and a sleepover since it snowed---a white Christmas in Atlanta??? Crazy!) Here are some pics from the night/next day:

Quinnie with her paper crown. We always have the British "poppers" at dinner and they always have little prizes and a paper crown in them.

Mia & Chloe sledding the next morning with Daddy

Spending a New Years Eve sleepover with the Brownlows at our house. Too fun.

Chloe

Mia

Quinnie

Mary Britton says, "Hey, where's my sundae???"

Fun confetti fire-works in the kitchen (with toasts from the 6 and under crowd) and then sundaes after dinner and fireworks ("real" ones from Alabama!).

It's fun to remember how far we've come...2004 was the the 1st New Years we spent with the Brownlows---when we lived in Duluth and the twins were just 4 1/2 months old and we danced the night away...in our little townhome:

Kev, Me, Kellie & Rick

This picture always cracks me up...

Packing up & Growing up

Every time I do a load of "baby" laundry I end up with a stack of clothes that I have to set to the side:

These are Mary Britton's 3-6 month PJs. Quinnlan wore them and so did Mia & Chloe. These are the perks of having 4 girls in August...hand me downs!

Today as I sat on the floor folding little socks and pants and onesies and burp cloths I cried as I had to set these to the side because they just don't fit her anymore. As much as I would love to continue shoving her chubby little legs into them, it is just cruel. She is getting older (and bigger) each day. (sob)

The ones on top are quite possibly the softest PJs on the planet and the ones below them are so sweet because they have pictures from "The Hungry Little Caterpillar" all over them. I was so happy when she finally fit into them and now they are too small...where does the time go? I so clearly remember all 3 of my older girls wearing them too.

It is a funny feeling when you realize that you will never have a little bitty baby in the house again.

But she sure does grow up cute, though!

Happy Winter Staycation!

This has been so strange having the kids (and Kevin) out for a FULL week of snow days! Besides the dishwasher and laundry machines working overtime, it really has felt like a vacation having my whole family "stuck" at home.

The girls have been eating up their serious one-on-one time with their main man...Daddy. He is SO fun...we have a giant hill across the street from our house at the church/preschool and he has been creating different sled runs, each called Killer Hill #1, #2, etc...

I, on the other hand, have spent most of my time inside with Miss Mary Britton, since she's not too hot on sledding at 5 months old.

I did go on a few Killer Hill rides with Kev and Quinnie, though. The run went down the church/preschool hill, across the snow/ice covered street down our front yard through the gate down our backyard, barely missing our pond in the back and crashing into the back fence. Afterwards, Kevin asked Quinn what I sounded like and she screamed like a little girl. I did say it was Killer Hill, right?

Yes, I screamed like a little girl.

I love looking out the window and seeing Kevin creating sled races and fun activities for our girls (and their little neighborhood friends).

I don't know if our girls realize (yet) what an amazing father they have...but I sure do.

Some of our week's highlights:

Kevin and his "big" girls ready to go outside for Day 1 of the snow & ice (notice Quinnlan's hodgepodge of an outfit!)

Heading down part 1 of Killer Hill

Chloe

Loves for Daddy

Mia

Snow Angel Quinn (the night before she laid in bed saying, "Tomorrow, I'm going to make snow angels and my lambie is going to make snow angels and my paci is going to make snow angels...")

making snowballs

My ambitious snowman makers

Quinnlan

Why is it so HARD to get a good shot of 3 kids!?!

Did I mention that my BABY turned 5 months old on January 10th?

twins and BFFs---Chloe & Mia

the final result of all the hard work