A Spiritual Birthday-June 17th, 2011

My Chloe is so intuitive. She always has been this way. I have always said that at times I feel I am talking with someone closer to my age than a little 6 year old!

She has been asking lots of questions over the past couple of months about baptism and what that means. I have been nervous about this conversation because she is so young. I asked a friend of ours that runs the children's ministry at our church how I should handle these conversations with her and she basically said to make it an ongoing conversation...answer every question as well as I can and make her feel like we can talk about it whenever she wants to talk about it.

So...that is what I have been trying to do.

Then last night happened:

I was getting Mia and Chloe ready for bed and we said our prayers as I am bouncing Mary Britton on my knee (Quinnie was already in bed). Then Chloe began asking about baptism again. She asked why she wasn't baptized as a baby like her cousins, and I tried to explain to her that we wanted her baptism to be at a time when she chooses to be baptized and not when we, her parents, choose for her. So, she asked if she could be baptized. At first, I didn't really know what to say. I told her that it is a very important decision and that she needs to understand salvation before baptism. Then she said, "what do I need to know to understand?"

I stopped, then, and said I needed to put (a very distracting) Mary Britton to bed and that if she wanted to talk more, we could go and talk in my bedroom. As I'm putting the baby to bed, I am praying like crazy that I won't screw this up. I mean, this conversation is what I have prayed for since she was in my belly! I don't only want to spend a few years on earth with this precious child of mine...I want to spend an eternity with her.

When I got back, she said she didn't want to talk anymore, so I said, "OK" and then she turned to look at me and had tears in her eyes and said, "Actually, I do want to talk."

So, we went and got on our bed and I asked her what she was feeling that was making her cry and she said that she kept thinking about "the bad word." (On a side note, she and Kevin are masters at taking songs and changing all the words to make it something silly.) She said that she was making up words to this song about trucks and kept saying "funk" in her mind and sometimes in a whisper instead of truck. (I guess I wasn't very clear as to what the actual bad word was! I wasn't going to correct her, though!) She is full-on crying now telling me that she can't stop thinking about it in her mind. So I, again, talked to her about the verse that tells us to think on "what is lovely and pure and praiseworthy..." and I asked her if she ever prays when she feels like this and she said that she asks God to help her not think about it and sometimes it works and other times it doesn't. We, then, prayed together that same prayer and she seemed to feel a bit better.

I then asked her if there was anything else she wanted to talk about and she said she thought she wanted to be baptized. So, I got out a piece of paper and drew the same drawing that I remember my mom drawing for me as a child to show the plan of salvation. I drew the side-view of 2 sides of a canyon with God on one side and Chloe, me, Daddy, Mia, etc...on the other side. I explained to her that we can never be on the side where God is because of that big open space in the middle that is filled with all the bad things we've ever done...that no amount of good things can build a bridge. Then I told her that Jesus came to earth to die on the cross to be that bridge for us (and I drew the cross as the bridge between the 2 sides) and that if she was the only person that ever lived, Jesus would have still died for her...that He loves her that much. She was just listening so intently to everything I was saying. I told her that Jesus wants to be her best friend and guide her throughout her entire life and then live with her forever in Heaven one day. She asked me what happens to people that don't go to Heaven and I just couldn't tell her anything that might scare her. I know her personality and I know that, especially at 6, she would not handle that bit of information well. So, I just told her that the worst thing in the world would be being separated from God forever. That seemed to be a good enough of an explanation. I just know that with my upbringing in the southern baptist church (in the 80's, at least) where hell-fire and brimstone were pretty common sermon topics, I was scared to death of all of that! I just really wanted her to make the choice for Jesus and not just against hell.

After we talked a bit, I asked her if this sounded like something she'd like to do and she said, "yes." So, I pulled her into my lap and I led her in prayer asking Jesus to forgive her of all the bad things she has done (at age 6!) and to come into her heart and to be her best friend forever. She (and I) cried through the whole thing...like mother, like daughter. When she was finished, I asked her how she felt and I expected her to say something pretty generic like "happy," but instead, she just looked at me and said, "calm."

Calm.

Isn't that the best adjective for the peace of Jesus?

This 6 year old hasn't been calm a second since she was in utero. She is always moving, always thinking, many times anxious...but the Prince of Peace showed up and made her feel calm.

I went on to tell her that the Bible says that when one person accepts Jesus into her heart the angels rejoice and throw a party...at this, Mia, comes into the room (I swear she has radar for the word, "party.") and says, "I wonder if they are eating angel food cake?!?"

Through our tears, we just burst out laughing...

Here is a song that I am singing right now...it basically sums up all that I am feeling.

"The King of all Bad Words"

We have 2 little girls (1st and 3rd grade) that live next door to us. They are always over and playing with Mia and Chloe. They don't exactly have the same Christian upbringing that our girls have...for example, the younger one went to church at Christmas with us last year and Chloe said, "We're having a Christmas birthday party at church!" And our little neighbor replied, "Who's birthday is at Christmas?" And Mia and Chloe both said, "Jesus!" and she just looked dumbfounded....like, wait a minute, Christmas is about something else besides Santa Claus and Rudolph?

Well, this year, the 1st grader came home from school with us and was saying that she was going to be in so much trouble because she had said the "king of all bad words." Then my girls started asking,

"Did you say 'Stupid'?"

"Was it worse than 'Hate'?"

I smiled and asked her what happened (thinking it couldn't be all that bad) and she said that she had said "What the f---!" in class...her 1st grade class.

I almost drove into my mailbox.

So, my naive girls said, "Did you say, 'Fired'?"...I quickly said, "Let's not talk about this right now."

Unbelievable.

A few days later, Mia and Chloe and this little girl were in our playroom and I heard Chloe say, "I called Mia the "S" word the other day and got into trouble." This little girl gasped...of course, she is thinking of the other "S" word and Chloe means "stupid."

That night at dinner I explained to them that when someone refers to the "S" word, they don't mean "stupid," and that it is probably not a good idea to tell others that you have used that word with each other. So, the conversation started spiraling from there...

Girls: "What is the "S" word?"

Me: "It is not a word that we ever say...you don't need to know, but you do need to know that it isn't "stupid."

Mia: "What is the "F" word?"

(At this point I was really wishing Kevin wasn't working late.)

So, I decided that they were probably going to hear those words pretty soon at the rate we were going and I wanted them to know that they were bad words when they did hear them, so, I told them what the "F" word was...I said it was like "Duck" but started with an "F" and that if I ever heard them say it or heard that they had said it to someone else, they would have their mouths washed out with soap and there privileges would be taken away.

Mia handled it pretty well...she went back to eating and then went to go play.

Chloe is another bird altogether.

She starts pacing the room and saying that she can't get it out of her head and that she just has to say it. At one point, she had her head under the couch cushion saying she felt like she was going to throw up.

Great.

So, I told her that she could whisper it in my ear and then we needed to "move on." So she whispered it so quietly and then she left the room. I thought, "OK, well, I guess that's that."

And then she comes back in and she has put handsoap in her mouth and has the nastiest look on her face. (at least it was that all-natural soap)

Her reaction really upset me and I thought I had made a really bad mistake telling them...taking away some of their innocence. So, I called my mom and she reminded me of the verse, Phillipians 4:8:

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.

So, it turned out to be a good learning lesson...even though it didn't start out that way!

Grooming

My daughter, Chloe, is so tender-hearted. I have written about her many times on here. When she does something wrong, it literally eats at her until she confesses. To me, this is a good thing...especially as she gets older and faces more of "life." But, it is not easy watching her experience the feelings leading to her "confession."

Recently, Mia and Chloe were working on their homework after school and I told them that if they needed any help, I could help them and when they were finished I could look over it. When they reached a math page of having to count these little dots, they both came over needing help. It was a pretty basic concept and I knew that as soon as I explained it, they would get it and go and finish the page. But, it was strange that as Mia went back to the table to finish because she understood, Chloe burst into tears saying she didn't understand. I just looked at her and asked, "Why are you so upset? Here, let me show you again." So, I did and she was being so adamant about not getting it, and I knew that this concept was not too difficult for her.

So I asked, "Chloe, are you really this upset about this math sheet or is something else going on?" and she blurted out (as tears are dripping off her sweet face onto the side table in front of her), "When I was 2, you told me not to ever play with the Gorilla Glue and when I was 3, I took it and made 3 dots on the coffee table in the playroom."

(I had to stop and let it sink in, because we went from math to Gorilla Glue in about a millisecond!)

So I asked her, "Have you been wanting to tell me about this for awhile?"

She said, "Yes and I'm sorry."

And I just had to once again scoop her into my lap and tell her that, of course, I forgave her and that she needs to NOT hold these things in. She just cried and cried and told me she wanted to show me.

OK, these 3 dots are so miniscule. They are practically under the coffee table and Gorilla Glue dries clear, so I never would have seen them.

(My mom suggested that the dots on the math worksheet probably reminded her of her "transgression"!)

That night as I went to bed, I kept thinking about the whole situation and I believe that the Holy Spirit is grooming her to accept Christ one day soon. I believe that he is showing her the feeling of conviction and she is learning from it.

I am so excited for that day when all of my girls become true believers in and followers of Jesus and ask Him to guide them in all areas of their lives.

What a beautiful day that will be...

All I want for Valentine's Day is...

My Chloe's 2 top teeth have been loose since September. I was sure they'd be gone before Christmas and we could sing "the song".

Nope...they just kept hanging on.

But last Monday, Chloe came home from school and had lost one of them. The other one was barely hanging on. Chloe could close her mouth and have the lone tooth hang over her lip and look like Nannie McPhee. That was pretty funny.

I even tried to get hold of it, but every time I would do it, she would freak out.

So, I just left it there. Kevin and went to datenight and when we got home, the babysitter told us that the other tooth had come out in her mac-n-cheese. I'm so glad she told us (Chloe had asked her not to say anything) since the Tooth Fairy was coming to visit that night!

This is how she looked the next morning:

Adorable.

The Elf..revealed

My Chloe has been freaked out by The Elf on the Shelf since last Christmas.

So, we definitely did not even try it again this year. In early December, we were at Kevin's sister's house for her newest daughter's baptism lunch, and her middle daughter was running around holding their Elf on the Shelf doll. Chloe kept telling me that the elf was not going to be able to go back to the North Pole because Mae was touching it (which, according to the book, is against the rules). I just kept changing the subject.

Then a couple of days later, we came home late and with it being dark in the house, Chloe asked me to turn on the light in the living/play room before she'd go in there. I told her that there was nothing to be afraid of and to just go on in and turn them on herself because I was trying to get Mary Britton settled. Well, she just wouldn't go in there. She finally told me, through tears, that Mia had told her that Cindy, the Elf on the Shelf, was in there waiting for her. (That stinker!)

So, she was officially freaked out...again.

I had to make an executive Mommy decision and tell her the truth about Cindy the Elf. I just couldn't let her be tormented by her anymore. So, as I am trying to explain to her that Cindy is not real (like Santa) but that she was a doll and it is all part of a game, she kept saying:

Chloe: "No! It's not true! Where did she go at night when we were sleeping?"

Me: "Nowhere. She stayed here in our house because she is a doll."

Chloe: "Well, how does she end up in a different spot each day?"

Me: "Moms and Dads move her."

Chloe: "Where did she go when you told her to leave last year?"

Me: "Wal-Mart."

She was so confused, but after we talked it out, she finally believed me.

I was nervous that it was a slippery slope of a topic, but I just couldn't watch her get so upset about a little bendable felt-covered, rubber-faced doll anymore.

Forgiveness

My sweet Chloe came to me a couple of days ago with the look on her face that she normally reserves for when she is in a crowd of people that she doesn't know. It is her nervous face. So, I was a little confused in why she was making it around me in the kitchen while I was making dinner. So, I stopped and asked her why she was acting like that. She then proceeded to tell me some really random statements:

"I sometimes spit in the sink." (OK)

"At school our teacher gave us candy corn and I didn't like it so I went to the bathroom and spit it out." (Uh-huh)

So I asked her what was really going on. Why was she telling me all of this?

Then her bottom lip began to tremble and this is what she said:

"Mommy, remember the other night when we were reading at bedtime and you asked me if had just spit on my bed or if I had blown my nose?" (Vaguely. I know this sounds very weird, but I had seen her spit before on the floor INSIDE the house and after I flipped out about how gross that was, she told me she had had a bad taste in her mouth...)

"Well, I told you I was blowing my nose, but I actually had spit on my bed. I'm sorry!" And at this point she burst into tears. She told me she had been thinking about it for a month! Poor thing.

So, I scooped her into my arms and we sat on the kitchen floor and I told her how that nervous feeling she had came from Jesus guiding her to do the right thing. I also told her that I knew it took a lot of courage to come to me about this and how proud I was of her for being honest. I then told her that, of course, I forgave her and that if she wanted to pray right there and ask for forgiveness from our Heavenly Father we could and she prayed right there and I could visibly see the weight being lifted from her shoulders.

It was such a special moment as well as a teachable moment...I was able to tell her that our God loves her so much that he sent Jesus to us at Christmas so many years ago so that we could have the opportunity to experience forgiveness.

Isn't forgiveness and amazing thing?

How I love that precious girl.

Oh, and by the way, the next day she comes home and guess who is December's Student of the Month?!?! CHLOE! My twins are back-to-back Students of the Month! I am ONE PROUD MOMMA!

The end of Summer brings lots of new things!

~Last day of summer---playing in the hot tub that Kevin filled with cool water~

Monday, August 9 began a jam-packed week for our family.

My girls' 1st day of kindergarten was that day. I have had mixed feelings about this. I know they are both over-prepared for starting "big kid school" (they just completed 2 years of Pre-K because of their late summer birthday).

But, still...these are MY BABIES!

My FIRSTBORN children!

Well, our best laid plans don't always work the way we want them to...Sunday night, Chloe begins to run a 102 fever. This is so typical for our academic history. She is what I (lovingly) call my Nervous Nellie when it comes to new experiences. So, we go to bed and pray that it is a self-induced "stress fever"---is that even a medical diagnosis?

No such luck. She woke up in the middle of the night after the Motrin had worn off with a 102.7 fever.

No 1st day of school for Miss Chloe.

I was especially bummed about this being that I did not want her to miss all of the introductions to kindergarten and her new classroom and teacher and the rules, etc. But, what can you do? Nothing.

So, Mia, Kevin and I headed off to Laurel Ridge Elementary School the next morning hand in hand. Mia was very excited. She received a new bookbag from the Birthday Fairy (we were in the middle of Birthday Week) and new super sparkly school shoes from her Uncle Ryan and his fiance, Monica for her birthday (check out the difference in my twins' styles just by taking a look at the choice in shoes. Chloe actually wanted all white, but couldn't find any, so she went with the ones that had the smallest amount of lavender on them. I just had to laugh.)

We have been looking forward to our girls starting school at Laurel Ridge for awhile now. It is a small little neighborhood school (reminds me so much of the school I attended for elementary school) that is practically across the street from our house. Over the years I have loved seeing familiar neighbor faces walking their children to and from school each day and waving to the wonderful crossing guard---this woman is seriously enthusiastic about her job.

SO, this was our, I mean, Mia's big day. When we get inside, we walk her to her classroom and it is empty except for her teacher. We didn't realize that if it is before 7:45am, the kids go to the cafeteria and wait for their teacher to come and get them to walk to class. Leaving her in an empty room made me feel sick. Mia, on the other hand, hugged and kissed us and waved goodbye and went to the seat with her name on it and had a seat with a smile on her face---Kevin said she probably loved being the only one in there---more attention for just her!

I thought I was doing well until we walked away from the class and I LOST IT in the hallway. Here I am, 10 months pregnant, a little hormonal, planning for the birth of our child THE NEXT DAY and I have just left my precious daughter in the hands of virtual strangers for 6 1/2 hours. I boo-hooed the whole way home. I guess this happens to us kindergarten newbies.

But once I got home, I went into final nesting mode to prepare for our next adventure---having this baby. It was surreal to answer people's question, "So, when are you due?" with "we're having the c-section tomorrow". For so long, August 10th has seemed like an eternity away (as all moms can probably relate to that waiting game) and now it was almost here.

Well, Mia had a wonderful first day. Kevin happened to be home between appointments to go with me to pick her up and she was bubbling over the whole walk home telling us every detail. I was so happy to hear all about it.

Unfortunately, Chloe did not get to join her sister until Thursday because of the fever, but it was a good day for her too, even if she had a hard time admitting it. (Kevin brought them up to the hospital to see me and the baby since she was now fever-free for 24 hours.) She says she doesn't like school, but I think it is mainly that she doesn't like being away from Mommy and "home". But, like we've told her, school is your job for the next few years and you can choose to be positive about it or not...but staying home is not an option. Sorry, kiddo :)

In celebration of Birthday Week, here are a few pics from the triple birthday party we had for all of our August birthdays (yes, all 4 kids have August birthdays!):

Quinnie loved all of the jumpies!

She also loves her cousin, Mae (they could be twins!)

Waiting for the birthday cupcakes---my 3 birthday girls!

Sisters---being silly

The fam---Quinnlan was NOT happy that we interrupted her jumping time for this pic

Lemonade Stand 2010!

We have been planning this Lemonade Stand for weeks now. It all started when Mia, Chloe and their 2 neighbor friends began to brainstorm about having a Milkshake Stand. They talked about it for 2 days straight. They could not understand that although a milkshake stand on a hot day would, of course, be refreshing, it wouldn't last longer than a few minutes. Also, where to plug in the blender?

So, they finally let me convince them that maybe, just maybe, a Lemonade Stand would be the way to go. Brilliant idea, Mommy.

Mia and Chloe discussed this idea with their BFF, Megan, and she was ON BOARD. They all got together and created some signs to advertise for the next day's sale. But, unfortunately, Quinnie got sick and then we had some bad weather, and then all of a sudden, it's been 3 weeks or so since we began talking about all of this.

Well, today was THE DAY and it was a blast...hot and sweaty...but a blast, nonetheless.

The girls made about $21! Holy Cow...I don't think we ever made that kind of cash with our stands growing up! We had many generous people stop and donate more than the 25cents for their little red solo cup of Country Time.

When we split up the money among the 3 girls, they each made about $7 and change. Megan was so sweet and was saying how she wanted to send all of her money to Haiti. As she says this, I'm looking at my girls, hoping they will chime in with the same humanitarian heart...uh, no. Mia says she is going to the Dollar Store.

Lovely.

Jennifer and I tried and talk to them (my girls, mainly) about helping others through giving some of the money to charity, and Chloe begins to think about it and she says she wants to help the children in Haiti, too. But, Miss Heart-of-Stone, I mean, Mia, says that she is, for sure, headed the Dollar Store with her cash ASAP.

Too funny.

What can you do?

I did lay on some guilt when Chloe gave me $2.25 to give to charity and Mia sighed and finally decided to give me 45cents. I guess you've got to start somewhere with a giving heart, right? It has definitely enlightened me to an area I need to be more mindful in including our children---our family giving is usually done by check through the mail and they have no idea of when/to whom this happens.

Here are some pics from our afternoon:

Mia flagging down customers

Quinnie tasting the goods

Chloe chatting up some customers (our friend, Laura)

Mia making the drive-through delivery

Allison and Quinn

I just had to include this precious one of my baby

Check out the cash!

Best Friends...and business partners

I can see clearly now...except for all this pollen!

We finally picked up Mia's new glasses and I just have to say that she looks absolutely precious in them...and she is amazed at how much better she can see everything around her!

But unfortunately, Sissy, is battling some pretty serious pollen allergies and can hardly see anything through the haze of yellow...

We just need a major rainstorm so things will be clear for both my big girls.

They really do love each other...

My Mia needs glasses.

She did not pass the eye exam with the lady that came to her preschool, so we went to see the eye doctor yesterday and they gave us a prescription and we took it to the eyeglass store today. Mia has been so excited about getting these glasses and so I was so glad that she had such a great outlook about it all. (pictures to come, they won't be ready for pickup for about a week)

As we were pulling into the parking lot, Mia told me that last night when she and Chloe were going to bed she was really scared about getting her glasses:

Me: Why were you scared? You have been so excited about this.

Mia: I was thinking that what if my friends don't recognize me when I'm wearing my glasses and what if people don't like me when I'm wearing them.

Me: Of course everyone will recognize you and everyone will love you in them. What made you feel better about it all?

Chloe pipes in: Well, I told her, "Mia, remember when our next door neighbor, Genevieve came over wearing her new glasses? Did we recognize her? Yeeeesss. And when Genevieve came over wearing her new glasses, did we still like her the same? Yeeeesss. So, Mia, it will be the same with you. Don't worry."

Mia: And it made me feel better.

Chloe is nodding the whole time like, "yep, I told her so."

I had no words. If I had talked, I might have started crying, it was so sweet.

Even with all the arguing they do sometimes and how different they can seem, they really do love each other.

Makes my heart melt.

Having a Ball

Mia and Chloe have been taking gymnastics for awhile and they enjoy it very much, but I have really wanted them to try soccer so they can have the experience of being a part of a team sport. Somehow I couldn't seem to get my ducks in a row to get them signed up before any of the deadlines (spring sign-up deadlines were in January???). Then we got a little card in the mail about Lil' Kickers soccer. They were having an open house with a free class and if the kids liked it we could sign up then and there. Sounded perfect to me!

When I talked to the girls about it, Mia was excited (she wants to do any sport where she may get a trophy at the end) and Chloe did not want to do it at all (which is pretty typical...if it were up to her, she wouldn't do anything but hang out at home with Mommy...she always has fun when she does her sports, though). I was hoping that Chloe would change her mind as the date got closer.

Well, that morning, neither girl wanted to do it. Tears everywhere...ahhhh, the joys of raising hormonal daughters! Finally, Kevin said that it was a beautiful day and so we were all going and if they didn't like it, we'd just pack up and go home, no big deal. So, off we went...

They. had. a. ball. (excuse the pun)

So, we signed them up! Yay!

Here are some pics from their first practice in uniform!

listening to directions from the coach

check out Chloe's mad skills :)

Mia having so much fun

Don't forget about me!

A soccer star "in training"

Haircuts and attack of the marker

Mia and Chloe have new haircuts and I (biased) think they look just precious...if you ask Mia, she says she looks like Kit Kittredge :)

Chloe

Mia

And I have to also post a picture of Baby Sissy from later that evening:

No, she's not all of a sudden into all things goth. She got a hold of this:

Thank goodness it's washable AND non-toxic!

Quinnie is going to give Mia a run for her money

See for yourself:

We had an early Thanksgiving dinner over at my mother-in-law's house on Saturday evening. We also were celebrating Kevin's brother, Ryan's, engagement to his new fiance, Monica:

The 3 older girls (there are 5 girl cousins in all!) decided to have a talent show. Mia went first, then Katherine, my niece. Then it was Chloe's turn and Miss Q decided that, no, it was actually her turn. Too funny... I do wish that Chloe had gotten her turn to do her cartwheel, but she just became really shy after Quinnlan went (and stole her turn, in her words).

Then, the funniest part of all was that Sheila gave all the girls Thanksgiving gifts. So sweet. The first gift was a set of classic Christmas DVDs. The next gift was...wait for it...The Elf on the Shelf. No, I'm not kidding (even though Chloe wishes I was). She did OK, but she did come to me and (standing sideways being 5-year-old-inconspicuous) say, "She's not going home with us, right, Mommy?"

"No, she is not coming home with us. She's going right back up to the North Pole. Don't you worry."

My baby has lost a tooth!

I know when I say "Baby" I'm usually talking about Quinnlan, but this "baby" is my Chloe. She has been talking about her loose tooth for over a month and finally it was so loose that she could push it forward all the way with her tongue, so I convinced her to let me try and pull it last Wednesday. I really pulled, but it was not budging! Ugh! So, Thursday, I had Kevin try (don't worry, Chloe was fine with us pulling on it), and it still was not moving. Then Friday morning, she and Mia were watching Noggin as I was cleaning the kitchen (they both stayed home because of colds) and I heard her say, "Mia! My tooth just came out!" and I think I was just as excited as she was! So here's the before photo:

And here's the after photo:

That night, the tooth fairy showed up and took her tooth and left 2 dollars! (Picture a grandma rocking on the front porch with no teeth here) In my day, we only got a quarter and we were happy...darn inflation! The tooth fairy also sprinkled pixie dust from the window sill, where she came in, all the way up the bunk bed ladder and all over the comforter and all over Chloe's hair and face and pillow! Wow! (After the Elf on the Shelf debacle, she wouldn't even look under her pillow without me being there...she thought the tooth fairy might be hiding under it!)

Oh, and we can't forget...here's Sissy Mia who is having a hard time watching Chloe get a lot of attention:

The Heimlich

Kids can literally give you a heart attack. Especially when they are your own kids and you love them with every ounce within you.

With that said, I was showering and getting ready for Kevin's and my weekly Wednesday datenight while Kevin started dinner for the girls before our sitter arrived. I came bounding down the stairs excited that a) I didn't have to cook OR clean tonight and b) I was getting to spend an evening out to dinner with my main squeeze.

When I came into the kitchen everything looked normal...then Kevin said:

"I just had to do something I never thought I'd have to do."

Me: What?

K: I had to perform the Heimlich on one of our kids.

I immediately turn to Quinnlan who is sitting in her highchair to see if she is ok when he clarifies:

"Not Quinnlan, Chloe"

Me: WHAT?!?!?

Then he proceeded to tell me that she was having a pre-dinner snack (appetizer?) of pineapple when she comes into the kitchen where Kevin is at the sink and is spitting on the floor. Kevin tells her to stop---thinking that she is doing that because she doesn't like what is in her mouth (gross), but then she looks up at him and is waving her arms around and he realizes she is choking. He grabbed her from behind and had to do the Heimlich 3 times before the chunk of pineapple flew out of her mouth "just like in the movies" (he said).

My. Heart. Stopped.

I could not stop thinking about it for the rest of the night and the next day and truthfully, I keep thinking about it.

How quickly things can go wrong and our lives can take a turn that we never would expect.

I am so so so very thankful that God protected our precious child that evening. I am so thankful that Kevin was there and able to help her. I always wonder if I would react in the way that I should in those situations.

I remember when the Mia and Chloe were maybe a month old, my mom was over and I was walking down our stairs holding Mia and I slipped on a step and slid down about 5 steps. All I could do was cry thinking, "What if I had thrown her or dropped her?" My mom was there, thankfully, and she kept reassuring me that, no, I would never have done that. My motherly instinct would be to hold tighter.

I want to believe that I would immediately do what Kevin did, but I am also afraid that I might panic and do something stupid like pound her on the back. I guess that is where we just have to trust our instincts that we would do what we would need to do to protect our children...Mama Bear Style.

Heartstrings...

Chloe and I have had a rough week or so. It's hard for me to even write about because I don't like to voice my kids' difficulties (until we are past them and have learned something from them, etc...) because of the whole "self-fulfilling prophecy" thing. That probably doesn't make any sense because everyone has issues and troubles along life's way, but I guess I just like to be positive.

For instance, I refuse to let Chloe utter the words, "I'm shy." I know she has heard it from other people as they try to pigeon-hole my twins as The Outgoing One and The Shy One (among other terms to tell them apart---when people get them mixed up, it cracks me up to hear them say what we've rehearsed: "No, I'm Mia/Chloe. Get to know me"). But, I don't see her as shy at all! If anything, I see her as cautious in new and different situations. Too politically correct? I don't think so. I think that if she hears herself being described as shy, then she will become more so, if she ever was in the first place.

See...it's hard for me to write about.

So...here's what has been going on. I know I've already written about Chloe's needing a lot of Mommy lately. Well, she also has been having a tough time with her emotions. She has been getting overly angry when she gets in trouble or is reprimanded. I saw it first occurring with Mia when they were fighting over something or another and she has lost it and is shouting at her like crazy and Mia is just in tears. Granted, Mia may have done something to really bug her, but let's have some self-control here. Then when I was giving them a bath, she is very meticulous about washing her body. She doesn't miss an inch. I poured water over her head as she was washing and a tiny bit of suds got in her eye and she started screaming for a towel and so I gave her a dry washcloth and she lost it. She threw it at me and started screaming that she didn't want a washcloth, she wanted a towel and when I wouldn't give her one (I refused because of her reaction) she got so angry that she was just screaming and yelling like, "AAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH." So, I pulled her out of the tub and threw a towel around her and sent her out of the bathroom and told her to go to bed. Then she's crying and crying. I went and talked to her after I read Mia a story and she was finally calmed down and she apologized, but I told her that she had to figure out a way to not lose it when she feels angry.

That was the 1st incident.

She had a temper tantrum with Maggie, our standing Wednesday night datenight sitter, that sounded very familiar to the situation above.

That was the 2nd incident.

Then a couple of days ago, she and Mia started fighting over a game on the computer and so I told them that we would close the laptop if they couldn't figure it out, and so they kept arguing and so I went to close the computer and she is pushing my hand away and so I go to remove her from the chair she is sitting in and she is fighting against me. When I stand her up, I get down on her level and tell her that she needs to calm down. She is giving me the biggest Evil Eye look I have seen out of any of my kids. So, I told her that she is going to time out and she needs to stop looking at me like that because she is being very disrespectful. If it was possible, the look got worse. Oh my...Lord, keep me calm! So, I told her that she was going to get a pop (aka a spanking) for being disrespectful and as I get the wooden spoon and spank her 3 times on her backside, she doesn't even flinch! No tears, no nothing. She is straight as a board standing there.

What?!? Who are you???

Then I sent her to the Time Out step to think about it and that is when the water works began.

So, I was thinking that maybe she is doing all of this to get some sort of attention? I have no clue! I took the baby and Mia to my mom's yesterday afternoon so she and I could go and run errands together and spend some good Mommy-Chloe time together and we talked about it all a little bit, but she doesn't like discussing her feelings. I could tell she was uncomfortable because she chews on the sleeve of her shirt when she is nervous.

Then last night, she just cried and cried before bed. She asked if she could go to sleep in our bed and we could move her back to her room when we went to bed and so I laid in our bed with her for a little bit and tried to find out what was going on and she just kept saying that she was sad. I was trying not to cry because my heart was breaking for her. She said she didn't know why she was sad. I asked her if she was nervous about today because it was going to be so busy (2 birthday parties and a sleepover at Grammie's) and she said, "Yes."

OK, now we're going somewhere.

She said she just wanted to be with me all day. So, I told her that she could do that if she wanted...we'd all go to the 1st party together and she could come home with me and Quinnlan for her nap and Daddy could just take Mia to the other birthday party. (She was excited about Grammie's, still.) She said that was what she wanted to do. The relief was written all over her sweet face.

So, she slept in our bed until we came up. Then this morning, she was all-smiles. I asked her if she was feeling better and she said she was and that she decided she did want to go to both parties. So, that is where they are now.

Huh...I don't get it. Is this just the drama of raising girls? Is it something to even worry about? Kevin says that she's fine and it's a stage and that she knows which buttons to push, or should I say, which heartstrings to pull.

I just prayed last night that Jesus would comfort her little heart and mind and give her peace within her little world.

All she wants is to be with me...

And it's not necessarily a bad thing, but now she says she doesn't like school.

Me: Why don't you like school?

Chloe: I just don't.

Me: Well, is it your teacher? Is she nice?

Chloe: yes, she's nice, it's not her.

Me: Are there kids that are not being nice to you?

Chloe: No. It's not that.

Me: What is it? Why don't you like school?

Chloe: Because I am away from you for over 6 hours everyday (and she begins to cry)

...and my heart sinks.

What do I do? If she were on the state's schedule, she'd be in kindergarten and mandated to go, but since she and Mia are August birthdays, I decided to keep them in Pre-K for a 2nd year.

I don't think it helped to have her home sick with me for 6 days straight either.

So, I told her that there is no option here. She has to go to school.

Everyday.

And it breaks my heart to say it, but that is growing up, right?

I even tried to perk her up by telling her and Mia that we had some graham crackers (stale) that I found in the pantry that they could have as a snack when we got home if they said, "I LOVE SCHOOL!"

Here's how that went:

Mia: I LOVE SCHOOL!

Chloe: I love you, Mommy.

(sigh)

Pancakes, Pumpkins, Party City and More...

This weekend we started off Saturday with a little pancake party. Mia was my sous chef and she had to wear her new Snow White apron that she received for a birthday gift.

My biggest challenge as usual was to keep her from eating the raw butter...yes I wrote "butter" not "batter". I remember eating butter from the giant brown Country Crock tub as a kid too, though.

Mia watching cartoons and stirring

Chloe chose to chill on the couch and watch "Max and Wooby" while Quinnlan played in the toy cabinet.

The pancakes were delicious even if they were a little overcooked on the edges.

After Quinnie's nap, we all headed to the gym and Kevin and I took a KILLER Pilates Sculpt class and I got so tickled doing all these funny moves next to him. I hope the teacher didn't think I was laughing at her or the class, but I literally thought I was going to start crying at one point because I was laughing so hard.

Then that evening, we walked to our great friends and neighbors, The Shokat's, for an Oktoberfest family get-together. It was a blast for kids and adults!

Mia---Tattoos all over

Chloe and Megan and their tattoos

Besides Georgia losing to LSU, we had a great time and seeing all the kids (12!) playing so well together was so cool.

Walkin' all over the place

Caden, Anna and Megan

Naomi, Chloe, Megan and Mia and their root beer floats

Quinnlan especially LOVED Angus, the Shokat's bulldog

Each family had a pumpkin to carve with the kiddos, but it ended up being just the Dads...typical :)

Daddy had some great helpers

Ewww...Pumpkin Guts

Sunday after church, I took the girls to Party City to see if we could find any pink hairspray for Mia's Halloween costume. We got to do a trial run with the girls' costumes and they enjoyed running around the yard (Mia's pink hair and all) while I decorated the tree and bushes with Halloween decor and "spider webs".

The countdown is on...26 days till Halloween!