Yesterday we had a belated Easter with my parents since we were in FL for Spring Break during Easter this year. We were really looking forward to it because it is always fun to celebrate holidays with family. It was very strange because for the first time it was just us, my parents and Mama. My brother and his family weren't there (Africa) and my Grandmother wasn't there (she died in February). M and C enjoyed sitting at the "grown-up's table" since we had all of the extra room...but there was kind of a melancholy feeling during the Easter egg hunt and throughout supper. We talked about how we feel like we can still go visit or call Grandmother because it feels like she is just around the corner at her house, but this past weekend was her estate sale. Just sad...I miss her. I miss that feeling of knowing that she is just around the corner.
I am so glad that I was able to have some special time with her before she died. She was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer back in the fall and amazingly she had no pain at all (which is what we prayed for) up until the day before she died. I kept feeling like I wanted to have a moment with Grandmother to tell her how much she means to me and how much I would miss her when she was no longer here. It was amazing how God provided the perfect opportunity because her round-the-clock caregiver had to run an errand to get some things that she needed and since I was there, could she run out for a bit. I, of course, said, "Sure" as I'm thanking God for hearing my prayers and "making a way". I was able to hold her hand and (through tears) tell her all the things I had wanted to say. I am so thankful for that moment and I'll never forget it.
Isn't it funny how we put God in this small box in our minds sometimes where we think that he is unable to make things work out for us? I'm sure He sometimes just looks at me and shakes His head in frustration at how small my faith can be...
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