Pushing Present

I wanted to give my awesome hubby BIG props for my Pushing Present this time around! (Even though there is no pushing involved with a c-section---I feel I still worked hard making this baby for the past 10 months!)

I came home from the hospital and was met by my parents and Mia, Chloe and Quinnlan. The big girls were saying for me to hurry upstairs to see our closet. I assumed that Kevin had moved our dresser to our closet, which was something I had wanted done as a part of my "Nesting List." So, we go upstairs and my jaw dropped as I walked into our bedroom. This is what I saw:

I had wanted to paint our bedroom since we moved to this house 4 years ago. I would have painted it myself, but I am a horrible painter, and not only did the walls need painting, the ceiling also needed painting---I was not up for tackling that task! Our walls were a dark brown (which I know is very "in" right now, but because of where our room is in the house, it doesn't get a lot of light and not only were the walls brown, the ceiling was also brown, so it literally felt like a cave.) when I went into the hospital. Kevin had painted them a soft Latte color while I was gone. What a difference it made! We had bought a new bed frame and mattress this summer, so we were on our way to making our room a place that I enjoyed being in.

Isn't it funny how we can create the cutest rooms for our children and completely neglect our own personal space in the home??? That is how things had worked in our house.

So, not only did he paint the walls and ceiling, he also bought new nightstands, lamps and curtains. It looked amazing.

Then he said to turn and look on the wall opposite our bed (where the dresser used to be) and this is what I saw:

Holy Moly...he had installed the shelf, TV and DVD player all without any help! I was in shock.

Then the girls said to look in the closet and I saw that not only did he put the dresser in there, he had completely made it like a mini-kitchen for me! There was a mini-fridge stocked with waters and Vitamin Waters, a single cup Keurig coffee maker, and a basket of snacks!

looking into the closet

The Keurig and basket of K-Cups (even mugs!)

Snacks for the nursing Momma

Now, unfortunately, I never want to leave my new room!

I know we still have some more to add (pictures, rugs, etc), but it really is like my little haven within my chaotic house right now and I am so thankful for the Extreme Makeover!

He thought of everything...I love this man.

The end of Summer brings lots of new things!

~Last day of summer---playing in the hot tub that Kevin filled with cool water~

Monday, August 9 began a jam-packed week for our family.

My girls' 1st day of kindergarten was that day. I have had mixed feelings about this. I know they are both over-prepared for starting "big kid school" (they just completed 2 years of Pre-K because of their late summer birthday).

But, still...these are MY BABIES!

My FIRSTBORN children!

Well, our best laid plans don't always work the way we want them to...Sunday night, Chloe begins to run a 102 fever. This is so typical for our academic history. She is what I (lovingly) call my Nervous Nellie when it comes to new experiences. So, we go to bed and pray that it is a self-induced "stress fever"---is that even a medical diagnosis?

No such luck. She woke up in the middle of the night after the Motrin had worn off with a 102.7 fever.

No 1st day of school for Miss Chloe.

I was especially bummed about this being that I did not want her to miss all of the introductions to kindergarten and her new classroom and teacher and the rules, etc. But, what can you do? Nothing.

So, Mia, Kevin and I headed off to Laurel Ridge Elementary School the next morning hand in hand. Mia was very excited. She received a new bookbag from the Birthday Fairy (we were in the middle of Birthday Week) and new super sparkly school shoes from her Uncle Ryan and his fiance, Monica for her birthday (check out the difference in my twins' styles just by taking a look at the choice in shoes. Chloe actually wanted all white, but couldn't find any, so she went with the ones that had the smallest amount of lavender on them. I just had to laugh.)

We have been looking forward to our girls starting school at Laurel Ridge for awhile now. It is a small little neighborhood school (reminds me so much of the school I attended for elementary school) that is practically across the street from our house. Over the years I have loved seeing familiar neighbor faces walking their children to and from school each day and waving to the wonderful crossing guard---this woman is seriously enthusiastic about her job.

SO, this was our, I mean, Mia's big day. When we get inside, we walk her to her classroom and it is empty except for her teacher. We didn't realize that if it is before 7:45am, the kids go to the cafeteria and wait for their teacher to come and get them to walk to class. Leaving her in an empty room made me feel sick. Mia, on the other hand, hugged and kissed us and waved goodbye and went to the seat with her name on it and had a seat with a smile on her face---Kevin said she probably loved being the only one in there---more attention for just her!

I thought I was doing well until we walked away from the class and I LOST IT in the hallway. Here I am, 10 months pregnant, a little hormonal, planning for the birth of our child THE NEXT DAY and I have just left my precious daughter in the hands of virtual strangers for 6 1/2 hours. I boo-hooed the whole way home. I guess this happens to us kindergarten newbies.

But once I got home, I went into final nesting mode to prepare for our next adventure---having this baby. It was surreal to answer people's question, "So, when are you due?" with "we're having the c-section tomorrow". For so long, August 10th has seemed like an eternity away (as all moms can probably relate to that waiting game) and now it was almost here.

Well, Mia had a wonderful first day. Kevin happened to be home between appointments to go with me to pick her up and she was bubbling over the whole walk home telling us every detail. I was so happy to hear all about it.

Unfortunately, Chloe did not get to join her sister until Thursday because of the fever, but it was a good day for her too, even if she had a hard time admitting it. (Kevin brought them up to the hospital to see me and the baby since she was now fever-free for 24 hours.) She says she doesn't like school, but I think it is mainly that she doesn't like being away from Mommy and "home". But, like we've told her, school is your job for the next few years and you can choose to be positive about it or not...but staying home is not an option. Sorry, kiddo :)

In celebration of Birthday Week, here are a few pics from the triple birthday party we had for all of our August birthdays (yes, all 4 kids have August birthdays!):

Quinnie loved all of the jumpies!

She also loves her cousin, Mae (they could be twins!)

Waiting for the birthday cupcakes---my 3 birthday girls!

Sisters---being silly

The fam---Quinnlan was NOT happy that we interrupted her jumping time for this pic

Tick Tock...

Does it ever feel like time is literally creeping by???

Maybe it's because we didn't find out the sex of our baby that is adding to the anticipation, or maybe it's just this heat, but I feel like these last couple of weeks being pregnant have gone so slowly! God just has to be sitting back and watching and laughing and shaking His head looking down at me as I clean and re-clean my house each time I walk out the door "just in case" I go into labor while I'm out and about. He's probably thinking...maybe now she'll learn some patience??? I promise, I'm working on it, but it is not easy!

I've had a couple of nights where I was sure that I was going to have the baby (one night being this past Sunday) because I was awakened so many times in the night with the super-tightness in my belly. I called the nurse advice line at my OB's office Monday morning to ask about any "sure-fire" symptoms to look for to know when to call the doctor (I've never gone into true labor at home---with Mia and Chloe, my water broke---definitely a sign of labor, and with Quinn, I went into labor at the hospital when they were doing a non-stress test on the baby because she hadn't been active that day). They asked me to come in to do the same non-stress test to see if anything was going on. So, Kevin goes with me, we ask our future sister-in-law to come and stay with our girls and we head to the doctor's office. They hooked me up to the fetal monitor and we watched and waited. Nothing...except for the baby rolling around in there. What a disappointment.

I was pretty bummed.

And the funny thing is that I am only 38 weeks!

I have friends (Jennifer) that didn't have their baby until 41 weeks! I don't think I'd make it that long and still be sane...but I guess people do it all the time.

I think that in my mind---and let me remind you of my lack of a medical degree, I feel like my gestation time is shorter than everyone else's (haha) because I had my twins early (obviously) and because Quinnie came along almost 2 weeks early. Sounds scientific, right?

I was able to move my c-section date up a few days to August 10th, so that is good news. The 14th seemed like an eternity away and now I feel like I have a light at the end of the tunnel...Tuesday cannot come quick enough for this Large Marge.

To further explain my placenta-derived craziness, I have even tried to opposite jinx myself into having the baby. I kept feeling like because I was so ready to have the baby (having a clean house, infant car seat loaded in the car, nesting all done, etc) the baby was not coming. So, since I am helping to host a couples shower for my brother-in-law and his fiance this weekend, which I honestly thought I'd never make it to because I'd be giving birth, I even bought a new maternity top to wear (not that I feel like EVER looking at maternity clothes again!). That made sense in my head yesterday when I thought of it, but now that I'm writing it out...it is complete nonsense.

Oh well...

So, basically we are in the waiting game and I am ready for this game to be OVER and to hold my new baby boy or baby girl!

You know who wins the Patience Award??? My sweet hubby. He has been such a champ dealing with me and my neuroses, so thanks Kev. Love you!

3 1/2 weeks and counting!

I feel like Santa Claus...I am making a list (or 2 or 3) and checking it twice... And I am making some headway with progress towards Baby's arrival! Woohoo! No, the scrapbooks have not been touched, but with a suggestion from a friend (thanks, Jill!) I did make an online one for the remainder of 2008 (where I had left off) and I think it is so cute! What a great idea and SO much less work! Now, I just need to tackle 2009 and the majority of 2010 and I'll be all set in that department!

The nursery is finished and I LOVE IT, baby laundry is folded and put away (the neutral things, that is---a pretty pitiful small stack, but it'll do---I cannot believe how many girl things I have for Newborn through 3 months!), the pack-n-play is set up in our room, my bags are packed (for the most part), my camera(s) are charged, and I have made so many trips to Goodwill, that the lady knows me by name, now.

So, I feel much more "together" than I did a couple of weeks ago! Bring on the Baby and those sleepless nights! I'm not getting much sleep as it is right now anyway with my pregnancy-insomnia!

The picture below is of me and Kevin's sister, Shannon, who is due one month after me, in September. Baby bumps galore!

Feeling Behind and NESTING!

I am SO behind in so many areas of my life (the fun stuff, mainly). I have been pretty good with staying up on laundry and house-stuff, but when it comes to the inevitable "things-to-do-before baby-arrives" list (which we all know are things that we don't really think too much about except when we are pregnant), I just haven't been doing any of it.

A big issue keeping me from it is that I just want to lie down when Quinnlan naps and at the end of the day, I just want to sit in our big red chair with my feet up and do NOTHING until I get tired of doing that and go to bed.

I know, I know, what a thrilling life I lead.

I have this giant goal of getting caught up on our family scrapbook(s) before Baby arrives...it doesn't sound too ambitious except for the fact that the last page in the scrapbook before I fell off the scrapping wagon is the summer before Quinnlan was born (that would be Summer 2008). The poor child is not even represented.

Typical 3rd child, right?

I don't see how I kept up with it having twins at home...but I guess it was still just 2 kids. Adding one more kid to the mix just threw off my Mojo, I guess.

But, I am determined to do as much as I can before Baby #4 comes so I can feel a little on top of things---starting with actually uploading pictures to Snapfish so I can make the giant order...I forgot how long it takes to do this (I am actually uploading in another screen as I type---I'm up to October 2009, so I have a ways to go).

I also have a goal of cleaning out our closet and making a trip to Goodwill and possibly try and consign some stuff. I have gone through the shoes, but haven't touched the clothes yet.

Our dining room table is covered with things I need to "get to" as well: stacks of Mia and Chloe's artwork from the past couple of years that I want to go through and decide what to keep and what to toss. This may be one of the hardest things I want to tackle. I am a hoarder when it comes to anything like this. I have a hard time deleting pictures when they are blurry, much less anything my kids have done. I have bought the big long bins, so I am one step closer to this project.

I could go on and on, but it is stressing me out. And I've read somewhere that it's not good to be preggo and stressed :)

Other than all of the complaining about being behind, the pregnancy is going well. I am 33 weeks along and I am counting the days till August 14th, at the latest, when my c-section is scheduled. This Atlanta heat is unreal, not even with my internal thermostat being bonkers. The baby is all over the place at all times of the day and night. If I was more "together" I could post some pictures of me and my big ol' belly. But, I have not taken any. Shocker. I will take some soon and then you can think what Mia said to me today (in the IKEA bathroom---a very private place): "Mommy, your belly is as big as a pig's!" Thanks, honey...even with a baby in there, that doesn't sound good.

One thing I do feel good about is that I have actually made a post on my blog...yay ME!

My favorite part of pregnancy

I am officially 6 months preggo now...this is the best part of the whole 10 month (yes, once you've been through it, you know that it is NOT 9 months, but 10!) process of making another human being~

I wake up feeling good...no more nausea and I am loving having a good amount of energy! My skin has finally cleared up, so I don't look like a pre-adolescent pregnant girl (the crazy breakouts were definitely something different from my other pregnancies...a sign of a baby boy, maybe???)

I love every movement this precious baby makes. It is so reassuring to feel him/her move about throughout the day (and night!). I'm not seeing elbows poking out yet or anything, but our little Peanut wiggles a lot in there!

I'm no superwoman by any means, I am exhausted even as I type, from my busy mom-duty-filled day, but at least I am not falling into bed at 8:00pm each night...that's progress, right???

P.S. I CANNOT wait to be able to sleep on my back again in 4 months!

Deja Vu

Well, I have had relatively no bleeding since my big scare a couple of weeks ago, which is an answer to prayer. I had my perinatal appointment last Tuesday to have the 1st trimester Nuchal Translucency tests done. This is the test where they measure the folds in the baby's neck to test for the odds of my having a baby with Downs Syndrome or Trisomy 18. Because of my age, my odds are higher, obviously. But when I had the ultrasound (which they pair with bloodwork) everything looked great. (I received the official news today that our baby passed with flying colors!) My OB wanted them to get a good look at the "bleed" area to see how it has progressed and with the high tech ultrasound machine, we had a really good look at it. I told the ultrasound tech that the area looked like a second sac (having seen an extra sac with my twins as well as the extra sac that I had with Quinn's pregnancy, I knew what it looked like). She said it looked that way to her too, but she'd have the doctor come in and have a look. The doctor agreed, that yes, it looks like an extra sac where nothing developed in it and when I told her this is the 2nd pregnancy in a row where this has happened, she said this was odd and that I must be a powerful ovulator! Well, I guess so! Almost 3 sets of twins??? Oh my... I guess we would have stopped at 2 sets, though :)

I am just so thankful that everything is going well and that I am finally beginning to feel better than I have over the past 2 months or so!

I can't not write about this...

Reader beware...this is long.

I have some good and crazy news.

We are having another baby.

This topic was something that I wasn't willing to hardly discuss with Kevin over this past year. He has always wanted a big family and I felt the same way too. I always thought I'd have 4 kids. Then I had #3 and she threw me for a loop. It is so true when people say just to have all your children back-to-back because then you stay in that "baby-mode".

But with us, having had our twins, we had our hands full! We did get pregnant when Mia and Chloe were 2 1/2, but I miscarried at 11 weeks, which was the most difficult thing I've ever been through, and that precious child is in heaven---I can't wait to meet him/her one day.

Then we waited another year (actually, after the miscarriage, we tried for about 6 months and nothing was happening, so we decided to wait and try again after the new year). Well, we didn't even have to wait until after the new year, because we got pregnant over Christmas holidays with our sweet Quinnie. You can read here about the crazy 1st trimester she gave us!

When Quinnlan was born, Mia and Chloe were 4 and pretty much self-sufficient. I had been getting full nights sleeps for over 3 years and I didn't realize how hard it would be to step back into that mode again. But, of course, you do it...exhaustion, tears and all, and of course, you make it through it to find that you can't imagine what family life was like before we were a party of five.

But, I sure did not want to do it again.

I like my sleep...a lot.

I like not being the sole food supplier for a baby (I know, the bonding is special and what a gift we women have been given to be able to do this...blah blah blah).

I just didn't want to give up MY LIFE for another 2 YEARS (pregnancy through nursing for a year)...and I am no spring chicken anymore, either...as I have come to find out, my OB chart has a little label now: A.M.A. Advanced Maternal Age. Thank you very much #35 and Father Time.

But, my Kevin is a fantastic salesman. He just would make me think about things and then all of a sudden it felt like it was my idea to have another baby. I kept thinking about how Quinn is 4 years younger than Mia and Chloe. How they would be going off to college when she would be entering high school. How she could easily become a "third wheel" to their twin-bond. Etc, etc, etc...

It all came down to the fact that Quinnie needs a friend. And, Kevin promised that we were not trying for a boy, we were adding another child to the family. To finalize this, I've already spoken to my OB about tying my tubes while I have my c-section ("one-stop-shopping" as she says!).

Well, it happened pretty quickly, in the 1st month, actually, and we were excited, but on my end, I have been a little nervous, too. I have asked the question many times, "what have we gotten ourselves into?" as I have felt like garbage for the past 2 months.

Because of our history, I have had some anxiety about this 1st trimester. We have also been a little "gun-shy" about telling people about our good news. (We sent out the mass email the weekend before our miscarriage last time...that was messy.)

But tomorrow I will be 11 weeks pregnant and I have an awesome story:

On Friday, I was exhausted. I had been up many times the night before with Quinnlan because she has an ear infection. I couldn't wait to drop the older girls off at school so I could put Quinnlan down for a morning nap and I could lie down myself. Well, she woke up after a bit, and I was still feeling pretty rough, so I went in, gave her a pacifier and climbed back into bed hoping to fall right back to sleep. But, this didn't happen. In the stillness of the morning, those anxious thoughts began to creep in. Is the baby ok? Could I go through a miscarriage again? So, I began to pray and try and chase away the "enemy".

My prayer has been this mantra, "I trust you, God, I trust you, God, I trust you, God". What I found was that if I just meditated and prayed over those words, there was no pause for any other thoughts to enter my mind.

Well, as I'm praying, all of a sudden I feel a gush (if you've ever had your water break, it was very similar). I jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom as I'm panicking and still praying (aloud now) and there is a huge amount of blood still gushing. It was so frightening, but as I'm crying and fighting to stay calm, I continue to pray aloud, "I trust you, God, please help me." So, I get cleaned up and call Kevin and can't get hold of him. So, I call my mom and she says she is on her way. Then I call the dr. and they get all my information and say they'll call me back.

I get Quinn out of bed and take her downstairs to the playroom and call my friend, Jennifer and she helps me to calm down some by praying for me over the phone. I can never thank her and my other friend, Kristin, (from my girls Bible study) enough for being my prayer warriors that day.

When my mom arrives, she comes to the couch and lays her hands on my belly and prays for me and our baby. It was such a familiar scene to when something similar happened when I was pregnant with Quinnlan. I am so very thankful for parents that know to call upon the Lord first in these scary situations.

The dr. finally called back and my mom drove me and Quinn down to my OB's office. I finally got in touch with Kevin as we were driving. He had accidentally left his phone in his car while on an appt. and came back to find about 15 missed calls from home and a hysterical message from his freaked out wife. He was on his way to meet us there.

I was glad that I was the last patient before lunch because the waiting room was empty and I looked like I had been hit by a truck. I know, this is no time for vanity, but, I really looked rough.

When Dr. Fisch came in, she immediately did an ultrasound and I strained to see if there was any good sign. Those screens are so difficult to read! So, then I am just trying to read my doctor's face. I just kept remembering when the dr. had told me 3 years ago that there was no heartbeat. I must have literally been holding my breath because she told me I needed to breathe.

Then, there it was.

Our baby.

Our baby's heartbeat.

A strong heartbeat.

Thank you, Jesus. I can trust You. You are the ONLY ONE in control.

Then the waterworks of relief began. Then we hear a soft knock on the door and Kevin walks in white as a sheet. I told him immediately that everything was ok. He had to sit down in the chair.

Basically, the baby looks great (even measuring a few days ahead), the placenta looks great, the cervix looks great...there was a dark line on the opposite side of my uterus from the baby/placenta that she thinks was the culprit. A subchorionic bleed. She said it is fairly common and in my case, because it is not near the placenta, is not endangering the baby at all.

I think I cried off and on all day out of sheer relief and joy. I just kept thinking what a different weekend I would have had, had things gone differently. I have doctors orders to take it easy and not do too much. Kevin has been SuperDad this weekend while I've tried to keep my feet up.

I am so very thankful for God's mercy on our family in this situation. He is in control and if things had gone differently, I know I could still trust Him through that as well. I keep thinking, if that was a test, I hope somehow I passed, because I don't want to be tested like this again! But, I just have to cling to God's word in 1 Peter 5:7 (that my mom quoted as we drove to the doctor's office), "Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you."

And it's true.